TAKE TWO, LET’S GO!
This week was almost solely Greek films, and they were surprisingly enjoyable! Mostly recommend.
The only exclusion was me watching the first 20 episodes (the entire season? This show’s lineup is so unnecessarily confusing) of Season 16 of American Dad. Yes, I have seen every episode of this show. No, I am not particularly proud of it.
Thursday and into the weekend I watched, in order, Sorority House Massacre (1986), Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama (1988), and my “diversity” pick, AKA the reason I can’t call this a sorority binge, Haunting on Fraternity Row (2018). Sorority House Massacre and The Initiation (watched last week), have almost the exact same plot, and I’m not, in the slightest, exaggerating. Case in point: new girl joins a sorority, doesn’t remember the crazy traumatic thing that happened in her childhood, a man from that crazy traumatic event (whom she doesn’t know exists) stalks her to kill her, her friends enter her subconscious to discover the reason behind her weird dreams, that turn out to be flashbacks to the Crazy Traumatic Event(tm)… The only real difference is that the The Initiation took place in a shopping mall, and this one took place in a sorority house.
Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama is a great movie to watch drunk with friends, but not so much alone. It’s only like an hour and 10 minutes long, so it could be a fun party game, if you ignore the arguably racist undertones of the imp.
Last of the trio, and by far my favorite: Haunting on Fraternity Row. I cannot stress enough how little faith I had in this film; it’s about a frat house that’s throwing a raging luau and they accidentally free a demon that was trapped in the house. It’s so much fun though. It’s like if Project X and The Babadook had an illegitimate child that decided to rush. It’s rated so drastically low so maybe I’m just an outlier but I legitimately enjoyed this. It’s on Netflix and is actually pretty funny (and not too cringey, unlike the rest of the movies I watched in this set) so give it a try!
On Sunday I realized I still had two sorority movies to watch for this week. Ten minutes into Sorority Row (2009), I realized I’ve already seen it, after that tire iron scene, so I decided to cut and run. The fact that Carrie Fisher is in it almost talked me into staying, but I had Delta Delta Die (2003) to get to. This. Movie. Is. Awful. And I was so excited for it! A cannibalistic sorority? SCORE! Too bad it’s shot like a no-budget porno. It does have a great scene of the entire sorority (AKA 6 women, including a House Mother) chanting-
The Penis is filled with germs and sperm!
-Delta Delta Pi
So THAT was fun. I’ll be real with you all, though, I couldn’t make it through this one. I’ve never thought this before, but I think my time is too valuable for this. How the FUCK it received better ratings than Haunting of Fraternity Row, I’ll never fucking know. Reverse sexism?
Unofficial Ratings
American Dad: Season 16?
This show has become a pretty decent mix of total lunacy and cohesive stories. It’s definitely not gonna be fore everyone, but I dig it.
Sorority House Massacre
Decent, run-of-the-mill sorority movie. No complaints. Plagiarized The Initiation, but they’re both about average, so I can’t say whether or not it improved the story.
Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama
Real weird, not a lot of plot. The sorority only has three members? Confused. My chapter has 24 people on our executive board.
Haunting on Fraternity Row
The demon CGI is pretty wack, but it being shot found footage style still let’s the weird black mist be really creepy over someone’s shoulder. This movie has so fucking GREAT one-liners, and only one completely irredeemable character, so that’s a win!
Delta Delta Die
There’s a scene of the house mother tossing what I can only assume is a liver up and catching it in a blender over and over again while the video stutters and garbage rock plays in their murder dungeon, and that made question if this was an indie arthouse film and I just didn’t “get” it.
Film Student Watchlist 