After deciding to run away from my problems this week, I amassed a pretty decent list of things I watched.
To start, I finally began The Masked Singer: season 2. I watched the first four episodes and my God, do I love how zany and weird this show is. Where else can I watch Ninja, dressed as an ice cream cone, since Old Town Road, and have none of the Gen-X/older Millennial judges have a single clue who he is? For Christ’s sake: he literally KARATE CHOPPED a piece of wood as one of his clues! The stupid ice cream mask was the same blue color as his hair! Learn what your children are watching, people!
I finally caught up to Superstore, finishing season 4 and starting season 5. I used to really love this show, and I still enjoy it, but it went from being #RelatableCustomerServiceJokes to #MateoWasCaughtByICE, which made the show take a pretty dark turn. Like yea, it’s dealt with some more serious topics, the store struggling to unionize, teen pregnancy, being a single parent, but this one hit HARD.
On a lighter note, I finished Drunk History season 1 and started season 2. This show’s pretty hard to write seriously about (or even try to review) because each episode is so drastically different; some are absolutely hysterical, while others can barely hold my attention. I don’t feel good skipping around though, so I’ll continue to make myself watch all of the episodes, in order, until the day I die.
MOVIE TIME! On Monday I watch Charlotte’s Song (2015) AKA Mermaid’s Song (it goes by both names, apparently) a movie I though was going to be about a mermaid but turned out to be about a dad struggling to keep his business afloat during the Dust Bowl so he begins pimping out his daughters (one of whom is part-mermaid, but doesn’t turn into a mermaid until the last 10 minutes of the film. SPOILERS!). This was so incredibly depressing, and also nearly impossible to hear, because the sound design was shot to shit. I could literally barely hear the dialogue over the musical score for the first half of the movie. It was so bad that I had to turn subtitles on, and I still struggled to hear what they were saying. It got a little better towards the end, but the damage had been done by that point. Next was The Witch (2016), a movie I’v literally been meaning to watch for the past three years. This was probably the first movie where the old english dialogue didn’t feel forced or unnatural, and that’s probably because most of the dialogue was direct quotes from witch trials and such. It’s very much a paranoia-inducing movie, especially when the dad keeps blaming his goddamn children for things that were his fault.
I wish I could tell you more about the third movie that I watched. It’s called Mom & Dad (2018) and is about a virus? plague? common delusion that makes every single parent want to kill their children. Is that not enough for you? Nicholas Cage plays the dad. The only memorable scene is of Nick Cage singing the Hokey Pokey as he destroys a pool table with a sledgehammer, which is why basically every review mentions it.
Since this is supposed to be a blog about honesty, I have a confession to make. I also began watching Game Grumps again this week. I know they’re not great people, et cetera and so forth, but in all seriousness their videos make me laugh harder than anything else I’ve ever watched, and I really needed that this week. This is meant to be a judgment free zone, so I’m going to prove that by coming clean.
ANYWAY, let’s get to the reviews!!
Unofficial Ratings
Superstore: Season 4
You know, I used to keep worrying every semester that this show would get canceled and end prematurely. I think I’ve made my peace with that now.
(NOTE: it’s still a perfectly fine show, it just doesn’t land the same with me as it used to)
Drunk History: Season 1
I have to keep reminding myself while I watch this that this is the normal reaction people have to getting drunk, not the ‘I immediately need to vomit for six hours’ reaction my medication gives me when I touch hard liquor.
Charlotte’s Song // Mermaid’s Song
WHAT? WHAT DID YOU SAY? THE- THE PIANO’S TOO LOUD, I CAN’T- WHAT’S THAT? YOU’RE A BARMAID? OH. NO, YOU SAID MERMAI-
The Witch
By the end, I was rooting for Thomasin to become a witch, just to get away from her annoying ass family. Also, if I was pilgrim in the 1600s I definitely would have just killed myself to get it over with- it seemed miserable and not at all worth it. Plus witches killing and grinding up babies in the woods? Thanks, I’ll pass.
Mom & Dad
I watched this less than a week ago and I seriously cannot remember anything from it, so that must mean something. Literally, the only thing I remember about this movie other than the scene mentioned above is the fact that it won Good Mythical Morning’s “Best Bad Movie of 2018” ranking.
Film Student Watchlist 