Practically all I’ve done this week is watch Catfish. It’s formulaic, noticeably scripted, and the people on it are so goddamn gullible. And I love every minute of it. When Nev threw that guys phone into the lake? Classic. When that guy claimed he wasn’t gay even though he was impersonating a girl and participating in online romantic/sexual exchanges with guys? Inspired. When Tyler Oakley guest starred? Why not! Anything goes on Catfish! Only like 3 episodes have ended happily but oh boy, when they do, it makes everything worth it. And the rest are so crazy insane that you can’t stop. I’ve literally finished three seasons of the show during the busiest sorority week of the year (Inspiration Week/Initiation, for those unaffiliated).
Img Desc: guy from Catfish looking at the camera and saying “That’s like a script”.
Then, when I wasn’t watching Catfish, I decided to start Daybreak on a whim. It was advertised to me on Netflix and I wasn’t feeling that into it, but I didn’t want to add it to my List, because then I knew I would NEVER watch it, so I took the plunge. I finished the entire season (10 40-minute episodes) and I still cannot really tell you who the intended audience is. It’s about high schoolers surviving in a post apocalyptic Glendale after a nuclear blast turned all the adults into “ghoulies” (off brand zombies), which doesn’t really make sense after it’s revealed WHY the teenagers were spared (young children didn’t make the cut either, I guess, but they’re never really acknowledged; the youngest character is 10 but looks 13 and everyone treats her like she’s 17). It feels like it was written by a middle schooler- the first episode is almost entirely exposition with Josh (the main character, and the least interesting person in this show) speaking directly to the camera about his “rules” for surviving the apocalypse, all of which he seems to forget about after the first episode. I would much rather have had the show focus on the cheerleader army who took over the abandoned country club, or the theater kid faction but NOPE. We get a guy who is so laser focused on finding the girl he “loves” that he doesn’t stop to think about how maybe she’s just not that into him. A point that I have a LOT more thoughts about, but it would spoil the ending of season 1 so I’m going to hold off.
Daybreak is easy to criticize. Like, so easy. But I did genuinely enjoy it. It has some really funny moments, and some of the characters are legitimately interesting. Plus, there’s gays! Well, two. But neither of them die at the end, so that’s really all I can ask for at this point.
To round up my television watching for the week, two of my best friends in the entire world and I (HI GUS AND FRAN!!) watched the first half of American Horror Story: Apocalypse. I think I’m going to hold off on saying anything too firm until the season’s over, because we all know how much Ryan Murphy likes for plots to fall apart in the last two episodes, but I’m really interested to see how this ends. That being said, I was kinda-sorta more interested in the show pre-warlock introduction. The more I learn about Michael Langdon, the less I seem to care. Also, are we ever going to get back to the bunker? I feel like we’ve been in flashback-city for at least a quarter of the season. I’m not complaining about the entire episode that took place in Murder House, though. That was fan-service from start to finish, and I couldn’t be happier.
On the movie front, I was tricked by Facebook into watching a short film called Fool’s Day (2013) about a middle school class who accidentally kills their teacher during an April Fools prank gone wrong. It was actually really good (ignore my genuine surprise). The script felt realistic, all of the kid’s were great actors, and it was REALLY funny! The ending fell a little flat, though that being said, I don’t really know how they could’ve written themselves out of that hole. The comment section HATED it with a PASSION, which was hilarious, since it was all these old people lamenting about how messed up these kids must be and “how dare their parents let them do this movie” as though middle schoolers aren’t already demented human beings.
Last update is that Tyler and I watched Parasite (2019) together in theaters. I was a little nervous at first (not gonna lie) because Tyler and I have never spent one on one time together and I knew almost nothing about this movie, but it was incredible! Firstly, we vibed; in fact, we actually got shushed by the guy in front of us because we were talking too loud during the Coca-Cola commercial before the movie even started. Sorry for ruining your capitalist experience, my dude!
The movie itself started out as a sort of heist film: this guy scams his way into a private tutoring job for a rich as hell family, then scams his sister into a private art teacher job, and so on until his entire family is working for the rich family (unbeknownst to the Riches). Then, the movie becomes a thriller when they- actually wait, no. I’m not going to spoil anything for anyone. Please, just go watch it. Don’t read about it, don’t watch a trailer. Just go see it. I promise you, it’s worth it. It’s one of only three films I’ve ever rated 5 stars (the other two being Get Out (2017) and The Shape of Water (2017)).
Unofficial Ratings
Catfish: Season 1
This show was better when no one knew about it. Now people are scamming Catfish to get free plane tickets to meet their SO’s and using it as revenge. I miss the simple days of Season 1 where this guy’s friend pretended to be Miss Teen USA to catfish him because she was bored.
Catfish: Season 2
How do these people keep finding people online who are willing to talk with little to no phone calls, no video chatting, and no face-to-face? I text with someone and within five minutes they’re like, “let’s meet up” and if I say no they ghost me.
Catfish: Season 3
Moral of the story: don’t trust anyone. Not your friends, not your enemies, not your cousin. They’re all trying to catfish you.
Daybreak: Season 1
Every episode is directed by a different person and it SHOWS. But it’s random enough that it kept me going (shoutout to Eli having a relationship with someone who may or may not have been a mannequin but he never touched her because they agreed to save themselves until marriage).
Fool’s Day
I mean, what would you do if you put weird stuff in your teachers coffee and when she drank it her head exploded? Probably try to bury her body on the playground before the cop who was scheduled to talk to your class about drug safety shows up.
Parasite
Make sure you ask for the full schematics of your new house when you buy it; you never know what the architect who built it may have forgot to tell the realtor…
Film Student Watchlist 