Though I try not to let it show, I am, in fact, a hopeless romantic. It’s easy to be one when you’ve never been in a serious relationship, trust me.
So, although I’ve practically never had a date for Valentine’s Day (I say practically because there was one date but I refuse to let it count. It was the tale of Ceramics guy from my Junior year of high school, who asked me out for Valentine’s Day and on our first date he gave me a box of Girl Scout cookies and took me to see- I hope you’re sitting down for this- The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water (2015). Can you believe that one didn’t work out? Truly the one who got away).
So anyway, I decided to feed my insanity and make another countdown list, but this time, instead of horror-themed, it’s love-themed. I love a good antithesis. This time, though, I’m going to further categorize the films, to make it easier for people to decide whether they want to give new ones a try.
So let’s get into it, shall we?
#14: To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before (2018)
There’s just something about “let’s pretend we’re dating” that gets me, I can’t explain it. I guess I just love the drama of it all. Plus, this movie is what started my running theory that Noah Centineo is owned by Netflix (I mean, have you seen him in anything else that wasn’t produced by Netflix? I haven’t).
Is it funny? YES
Is it straight? YES
Is it obnoxiously straight? LIKE, MODERNLY OBNOXIOUS
Does it have a happy ending? I NEVER BOTHERED TO READ THE SECOND BOOK BUT THE FIRST MOVIE ENDS HAPPILY?
#13: The Princess Bride (1987)
I’ll be honest; I’ve never been as obsessed with this movie as everyone else seems to be, but I felt like there would be a vendetta against me if this film didn’t make it onto this list. Plus, it’s one of the most quotable movies of all time, and I reference constantly, so I feel like that needs to count for something. Also, for the record, my cat is not named after the character “Vizzini” from this movie, that’s just an unfortunate coincidence.
Is it funny? INCONCEIVABLE!
Is it straight? YES
Is it obnoxiously straight? I’M GONNA SAY ‘NO’
Does it have a happy ending? YES
#12: But I’m a Cheerleader (1999)
This movie is so campy- I love it. If you don’t already know about this movie, I’m revoking your gay card. I’m sorry, I don’t make the rules, I just pick and choose which ones to enforce. And this is one of them.
Is it funny? YEP
Is it straight? NOPE
Is it obnoxiously straight? NAH MAN
Does it have a happy ending? HELL YES
#11: Cabaret (1972)
I don’t think there is literally anything I can say about this movie without giving away what is quite possibly the best plot twist of all time. I first watched this movie in my “Intro to Film” class and the entire audience literally screamed when that moment happened. You’ll know the one.
Is it funny? YES
Is it straight? *SMIRKS*
Is it obnoxiously straight? *CHUCKLES*
Does it have a happy ending? I mean like, it takes place in Nazi Germany, so I don’t think that would be a possibility
#10: Sleepless in Seattle (1993)
I haven’t seen this movie in years, and I’m afraid it won’t live up to the dreamy memory I have of when I watched it in 8th grade while pulling an all-nighter in an attempt to alter my sleep schedule a la Men in Black (yes, I really did this), but I do adore this movie, and if you’re in the mood for some sappy heterosexual single-dad love, then I’d highly recommend it.
Is it funny? NO
Is it straight? YES
Is it obnoxiously straight? IT DEFINES THE CONCEPT OF “STRAIGHT”
Does it have a happy ending? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#9: The Princess and The Frog (2009)
I needed to put a Disney animated movie on this list; it feels required when talking about romance (and I don’t put myself “above” watching “children’s movies” like I feel some of these lists to). I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: this movie was robbed. It was poorly marketed and because of that (plus other factors) the movie was largely ignored, which made Disney think that 2D animation was out and so they pivoted almost entirely to CGI. Don’t get me wrong; CGI is fine. But it’s not 2D. So I like to watch this movie once and month and remember the good ole traditional animation days.
Plus the songs in this movie are KILLER!
Is it funny? YES
Is it straight? YES
Is it obnoxiously straight? IT’S MAJORITY FROG CONTENT
Does it have a happy ending? IT’S DISNEY
#8: Dirty Dancing (1987)
Dirty Dancing has a sort of enemies-to-lovers vibe (which is made all the funnier with the knowledge that the two lead actors did, in fact, hate each other) which I dig. I also think this movie tackles the concept of classism in a really interesting way, and not totally bad.
Is it funny? YES, BUT NOT TOTALLY INTENTIONALLY
Is it straight? YES
Is it obnoxiously straight? YES
Does it have a happy ending? YES
#7: The Way He Looks (2014)
I’ve only seen this film once, during my Tumblr days when everyone was obsessed with the short film (that was then turned into this feature length flick). This movie is so fucking cute- it’s Brazilian and set in high school and focuses on the romance between Leo, a blind student, and Gabriel, the new kid in class. Tears of joy incoming.
Is it funny? NOT FUNNY, BUT SWEET
Is it straight? NO!
Is it obnoxiously straight? N/A
Does it have a happy ending? YES!!
#6: Stardust (2007)
The dude falls. In love. With a star. How could anyone say this is not my brand of content? Plus there’re witches and flying pirate ships and stuff.
Is it funny? YES
Is it straight? YES
Is it obnoxiously straight? OH YEAH
Does it have a happy ending? YES
#5: Rafiki (2018)
Another film I’ve only seen once, this time at a film festival but my God, did it stick with me. It’s a lesbian love story set against the the struggle for LGBT rights and freedom in Kenya. It’ll tear your heart out (and steal your breath) but it’s a must see.
Is it funny? NO
Is it straight? NO!
Is it obnoxiously straight? N/A
Does it have a happy ending? I don’t want to ruin the journey for you
#4: Love, Simon (2018)
In case you haven’t realized it yet, I’m a big fan of sap. The book version of this kind of annoyed me, and I feel like the movie did a much better job of portraying the story so although I could provide a critical analysis of the socioeconomic status of Simon and how that shifts the narrative, I’m going to choose to not do that thing.
Is it funny? YES
Is it straight? NOPE!
Is it obnoxiously straight? N/A
Does it have a happy ending? YES
#3: The Shape of Water (2017)
I could spend this time talking about the allegories at play with the fishman and how it’s really symbolic that she fucked a fish but honestly I just think the movie is really pretty and well-done.
Is it funny? YES
Is it straight? TECHNICALLY YES
Is it obnoxiously straight? NOPE
Does it have a happy ending? YES?
#2: Pretty Woman (1990)
Yes, I know this movie is awful and blah blah blah feminism but I love the idea of a younger (but still older) Richard Gere sweeping me off my feet and saving me from my troubles with a shit-ton of cash. This is one of my favorite movies of all time, and no one can sway me on this.
Is it funny? YES
Is it straight? YES
Is it obnoxiously straight? OH YEAH
Does it have a happy ending? YES
#1: Moulin Rouge! (2001)
Is literally anyone surprised? Like, literally anyone who knows me: are you surprised to see Moulin Rouge at #1? I practically shaped my personality around this movie; it was literally the only thing I watched for 3 months when I was in 8th grade after I bought it on a whim from the Walmart $5 DVD bin. I refuse to let myself watch it now because I’m afraid it won’t live up to my memory of it because I’m afraid of falling back into that obsession. It’s so weird and it makes me love Baz Luhrman all the more. The use of color! Of light! Or now-classic-but-was-once-modern music! Natalie Portman! The theatricality of this movie alone made me fall in love with it. I don’t even care if you judge me based on your own opinion of this movie; I love it and that’s all that matters.
Film Student Watchlist 