Remember when I said i was going to get back to posting on here regularly?
Yeah… Me neither.
…
So anyway…
I’m ashamed to say I haven’t been watching much of anything. I’ve been streaming The Simpsons in the background while I waste away and panic about what the future may hold (me moving home, getting a full-time job, relocating somewhere out of state, or the best option: dying), which doesn’t make for a great post. Not that I’m trying to make any excuses for myself, but it’s really damn hard to enjoy anything or want to talk critically about anything when you’re constantly in the process of realizing how fucking fragile the world you’ve spent literally your entire life building up is, only to watch it being burnt down in real time, brick by brick, over the span of 5 months (and knowing there’s only about one month left before total meltdown).
I started Chernobyl. Haven’t finished it. The entire first episode is essentially one big reminder of how disposable management feels lower level workers are.
Let me paint the scene: the nuclear reactor core explodes. The manager-guy sends down a lackey to check it out. He returns, coughing up blood, to say that the core isn’t there anymore, because it exploded. The manager, who is convinced “reactor cores don’t just simply explode!” sends another guy down to check it out. When the second guy returns, the manager asks about the core, only for the guy to say something like, “well, I couldn’t tell you, because the core wasn’t there“. And then HE collapses. Fed up with how easily these men are dying, the manager sends a THIRD guy down… and I think you can see where it goes from there. It was almost comical; it felt like one of those surreal SNL sketches that are so dark you’re shocked it made it to air. And it went on for like twenty minutes!
So anyway, I made it through like 2 episodes of that before I needed to my head a break (ya know, before it followed the path of the totally-still-completely-intact nuclear reactor core), but I didn’t really watch anything else in its place.
Like a week later my best friend, Gus, and I got together for his birthday (social distancing is hard, okay?) and we watched the monumental feat which is Cats (2019), during which Gus posted a joke on Twitter and almost got cancelled by our friends (classic), I compared him to Gus the Theater Cat constantly (also classic) and I learned that the Amazon Prime version of Cats is, as a matter of fact, THE RUSHED EDIT (the MOST classic). Yes, you heard me right! It’s the Judi Dench wedding ring hand edition! What a feat of human achievement for that to be the version that is memorialized on the internet. A true icon. Whoever handed over the .mp4 file to Amazon for their rental service, I truly salute you.
The Birthday Boy then forced me to follow that up with the Kirk Cameron classic, Left Behind (2000), seeing as how I had only previously seen the Nicholas Cage edition of the book-to-screen adaptation by the same name. I feel like a hallucinated most of it, and the fact that they literally forgot to green screen a building during a full scene so there’s just a giant patch of noxious fluorescent green in the background for an entire scene that no one caught, doesn’t exactly go against my point. But Gus as my witness, it really happened. And the fact that the entire movie is a set up with the expectation of like 10 movies to follow it really, REALLY shows, in case you were wondering.
I think this is all I have to talk about. I think I need to stop making any more promises for the time being. Honestly, it’s less me choosing to shirk my responsibilities, and more me sincerely not knowing what day of the week it is anymore. Maybe my readers who know me in real life need to start slapping me when I miss a deadline, just so I can feel a consequence to my actions again.
Thoughts?
Unofficial Ratings
Left Behind
It’s not so much that Kirk Cameron is a great actor, it was just SO unbelievably apparent that he was the only person that had any part in creating this movie that had ever been on a film set before, let alone in front of a camera before
Film Student Watchlist 