PLEASE tell me you thought of that R.E.M. song “It’s the End Of The World” when you read the title for this week.

Happy 2020!

The beginning of the New Year is when I’ve started culling my watchlists to be more realistic (do I actually want to watch this, or do I just think that I want to watch this) as well as finally finishing that cursed horror countdown.

It’s also the time that I got super, practically-bedridden sick for a couple days, for absolutely no goddamn reason! Which turns me into a child who never wants to watch anything unfamiliar because that’s not comforting to child-Sydney. So, similar to last week, I’m calling in a loophole.

Turns out, although I had seen Burlesque (2010) many, many years ago, I never bothered to review it on Letterboxd. Which, for my intents and purposes, counts it as fair game for me to add to this post. You don’t like it? Go somewhere else! (Please don’t go somewhere else I put a lot of effort into this blog and don’t want to lose anyone I love you please don’t leave me). Burlesque is fun. Christina Aguilera moves to LA and gets a job at Cher’s failing burlesque club. Cher learns that Christina Aguilera can sing and makes her the shows main attraction, therefore saving the club. Throw in some sexy dancing and good music numbers, and you get yourselves a fun time.

Then, to celebrate my freedom from an aggressively masculine countdown, I decided to comfort my sick self with some more Disney. First, I finished Gordon Ramsey: Uncharted (a National Geographic miniseries, but since National Geographic is owned by Disney…), wherein Gordon learns traditional cooking ingredients and techniques from people in places like Hawaii, Laos, and Morocco.

Then, I uncovered what is, quite possibly, a piece of content that was solely created for me and me alone in the Pixar animated short, La Luna. In it, a young boy is learning the family business with his father and grandfather, which is cleaning up shooting stars on the moon in order to create the different moon phases. I dare you to find something that is more closely aligned with me. I dare you. It’s so beautiful and sweet and involves the moon AND stars. I want this short tattooed on my body immediately.

I followed this up with one of the scariest movies I have ever seen. It’s called Return to Oz (1985) and is a Disney sequel to The Wizard of Oz (1939).

I mean, look at this! LOOK AT THIS. This is an official cast photo! In action? They’re terrifying! Everyone in the ’80s was definitely on coke, but how has this fallen to the wayside? There’s an evil queen that steals women’s heads! To wear them! A MOUNTAIN is the main villain! An illegal chicken who talks is Dorothy’s animal sidekick! There’s a gang of men with wheels for hands and feet that roam a deserted Oz! Hell, the movie opens with Dorothy almost being subjected to electroshock therapy!

I know this is way more photos all at once than I would usually post, but I sincerely need you to understand what I have been through digging deep into the archives of Disney+.

To calm down, I watched Evil Genius: The True Story of America’s Most Diabolical Bank Heist. It’s a 2018 Netflix miniseries about the Pizza Collar Bombing in 2003, a case that I only knew about through the Buzzfeed Unsolved episode. The series, obviously, had a lot more information, but honestly? I like the Unsolved episode more because I’m biased because it was straight to the point and presented the information in a clearer way. Though I appreciated the interviews, they really helped with revealing the personalities of the suspects.

Unofficial Ratings

Burlesque

The weird sorta love triangle sorta love square is super unnecessary and I would have rather they cut those scenes and replaced them with more dance numbers IMHO

Gordon Ramsey: Uncharted: Season 1

I swear, some of the stuff people have Gordon do is so foreign to me I feel like they must be punking him. Either way, good on him for always going along with it, even when it involves scaling a 60 foot sheer face cliff in order to get an herb for tea that is readily available on the ground like 20 miles away.

La Luna

If I could give as many stars that were in the short as my official rating, I would.

Return to Oz

How do you think the 60 year olds who grew up with the original Wizard of Oz felt when they went to see the sequel to their childhood favorite 50 years after its release and instead were given this?

Evil Genius: The True Story of America’s Most Diabolical Bank Heist

This show did a weird job of talking about/referencing Marjorie Diehl-Armstrong’s bipolar disorder. Like “Marjorie was mentally ill, but she was very smart”, as though people can’t normally be both.

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Guess what! I post different reviews (same ratings) of movies I watch on my Letterboxd! Ge check ’em out!