Hey folks! I’m back… sort of.
As we all know, everyone is reacting to this global pandemic in a myriad of ways (I spoke a bit bout my feelings in my last, much more personal, update). Because of this, I cannot promise to immediately go back to my original posting schedule (though I would love to).
At the very least, I have finally finished my MEGA update post- so buckle in. I’m not going to try to ramble too much, because otherwise this post would become a novel, but I’ll talk about a couple things (all reviews at the bottom, as always). Besides a LOT of YouTube videos (easily digestible content for when you feel yourself slipping into the void), I did manage to watch a decent amount of films- both short and full length, few of which I would actually recommend (but who knows? Maybe that has more to do with my headspace than my actual appreciation of the art).
Thanks for bearing with me, friends. And welcome to Sydney’s quarantine watchlist.
To get them out of the way, I few rewatches. These are things I literally hadn’t seen in years, but I had technically watched them before. On this mini-list: Mamma Mia!: Here We Go Again (2018), The Simpsons Movie (2007), and The Hangover (2009). The last of which I only watched because I felt like attending one of my sortie’s virtual events, which was a Netflix Party. It wasn’t much of a “party”, though, since the only people who attended were myself and the host, a girl I had never met prior but can now say I have had an awkward text conversation with. So, basically, I just watched The Hangover alone, which was a choice I don’t think I would have made outside of quarantine, but one I have committed nonetheless.
Next sub-category: documentaries. Early on in quarantine, I watched Casting JonBenet (2017), a documentary that was less about JonBenet Ramsey and more about people’s fascination with talking about who killed her. I followed that up with Cropsey (2009) and Tiger King. Tiger King is interesting because everyone was obsessed with it for about a week, and now all I hear is people complaining about it being boring. Like, excuse me? Did I miss something? I found it king of thrilling, to be honest. So little of the documentary actually has anything to do with tigers. Plus, the weird harem cult? The Presidency bid? The hitman? And all of this out of Oklahoma? It felt like a redneck telenovela, except it was real.
Third sub-category is one I affectionately title “Things I Should Have Watched Years Ago But Never Got Around To Until Now”. This includes Stephen King’s Misery (1990), Hedwig and the Angry Inch (2001), and, of course, Mrs. Doubtfire (1993). My mom was so shocked that I had never seen Mrs. Doubtfire, that she forced us to watch it as a family during Easter dinner. I can’t help but feel like my parents kind of regretted it, once all of the transphobic jokes began, but ya know, a product of its time or whatever. I’m glad to be able to say that I saw it, and I understand why it’s a classic (unlike one of my nemeses, Groundhog Day).
The last official subcategory is sort of horror focused, with two official horror films and two short films by the same weirdo. The full length titles are Wolf Creek (2005) and Trespassers (2018), the latter of which is one of the most boring “horror” movies I’ve ever seen, since absolutely none of any of the character’s actions made any goddamn sense (and not even in a funny way). The two shorts, directed by Nacho Cerdà were Aftermath (1994) a 30-minute piece about a morgue operator with a necrophilic streak, and The Awakening (1990), an 8-minute piece about a teenager who receives an F on a test AND THEN DIES (spoiler, but seriously, who was going to watch this?).
This leaves one last movie that doesn’t have a sub-category to join: Onward (2020), which is literally Disney’s attempt at a family-friendly Dungeons & Dragons campaign, and which had some good moments but as I’m an only child, I didn’t relate to the story as I think others likely would.
And that’s about it! Do you have any quarantine rec’s? How have you been spending your time at home? It’s okay to not be doing anything, and to simply exist is pretty remarkable right now, in my opinion.
Take care of yourselves, and I’ll see you in the next one (whenever that may be)! Also if you know me in person feel free to bug me about lack of updates if I let it go this long again.
Unofficial Ratings
Mamma Mia!: Here we go again
The only songs I really remember from this one are Waterloo! and When I Kissed the Teacher, and honestly I’m okay with that
The Simpsons movie
Spider Pig, Spider Pig, does whatever a spider pig does. This song was the first viral meme in my elementary school
The Hangover
Really fun to watch with people, kind of sad to watch it alone
Casting JonBenet
I think the brother did it and no one can tell me otherwise. Him, or one of the uber-creepy men that her parents let hang around JonBenet all the time
Cropsey
For a documentary about a serial child killer that feeds into a national urban legend, this is a really boring movie
Misery
Man, Kathy Bates is so good in this. Like, so good. I knew she was in this, but she sounds so different in this movie than she does know that I legitimately questioned whether or not it was actually her. She’s also the only thing keeping this movie from feeling like a forgettable Hallmark or Lifetime-esque made-for-tv-movie and I don’t think we give her enough credit for that
Hedwig and the Angry Inch
I’ve tried so hard to like Hedwig, but I just can’t do it. I respect those who do like this movie/play, but I can’t stand it. At least now I can finally lay it rest
Mrs. Doubtfire
I had never seen this movie because I went through a long “I can’t stand Robin Williams” phase as a kid that to this day I can not explain to you why, so now, as an “adult”, I am slowly working through his filmography
Wolf Creek
As though we needed more things in Australia that could kill you, this movies about a bushman who’s gotten real good at serial killing. The first 45 minutes of this movie are about his future victims partying and traveling and whatnot, and I guess that was to make you sympathize/get to know the characters so their deaths would hurt, but I really could not care less about any of them from start to finish
Trespassers
It also goes by “Hell is Where the Home Is” and you know it’s gotta be a good sign when a movie has two completely different names!
Aftermath
I don’t really know what to say about this one, other than the fact that I can guarantee that you, dear reader, would hate this film
The Awakening
The Illuminati freezes time? I guess? It’s too short to have any real closure
Onward
This film was nearly the polar opposite of that weird Riverdale Season 3 plot line that was excessively anti-Dungeons & Dragons for absolutely no reason
Tiger King
I hate how much everyone likes to talk shit about Carole Baskin. I don’t think she’s totally innocent, but she isn’t as bad as “I force women to have sex with me and get breast implants” Doc Antle or “I coerce meth-addicted straight men into marrying me through guns and drugs” Joe Exotic (plus all the horrible things both men do to tigers!). It’s just misogyny in action right before our eyes, ladies and gentlemen and distinguished guests!
Film Student Watchlist 